still breaking...

It's been a rough week to say the least

Today I went to a memorial service for my Pastor--Russ Noland-- who passed away on Thursday evening. A man who was so full of life and laughter. Who always challenged people to ask questions and think beyond their comfort level. Who loved so deeply and never failed to tell people how much he cared about them. I sat in the church I grew up in that I have watched go through many changes and various trials, surrounded by so many people that I love and my heart broke. Because now this group is without their shepherd that they had grown to love so much. His wife spoke of how he always said that this is where he wanted to be in the end, and my heart broke. Our associate pastor spoke beautifully of Russ' spirit and he challenged us to press on--to remember that our work is not through. And my heart broke.

I stood at the back of the church holding a woman who has touched my life on countless occassions--a mother of 4 who lost her husband about a month ago. And my heart broke. For all her questions, for her precious children who are hurting so much.

And yet, in the midst of all the heart ache, there is hope. My mom and I were talking earlier and I made a comment that it just seems like there is so much that has happened lately to people I know and love. And she said "but there were babies born this week too." And this is so true--I have a new cousin! My cousin Kiersten welcomed her 4th little girl, Kailey Ann on Tuesday night!

So as Brady encouraged me to do, I press on. With hope that Russ is with our precious Lord playing his guitar. With hope that God will heal each broken heart and will answer each question in His time. With hope that He will carry me through tomorrow even though I have no idea what to do, how to keep going after everything that has happened this week. With hope that He holds every tear in His hands. Knowing that He is faithful. He is no less faithful today than he was on Tuesday when I wrote of all that is good.