The blog has been a little quiet this month, but our lives have not been quite as quiet. At the very end of April we had the inspection on the house we wanted to buy... and it was pretty bad. We spent some time walking around the house while the inspector was there and as we were walking through it I think both David and I had some uneasiness about it all. And then we got the inspection report and there was a lot more wrong with it than we thought. There were a lot of major repairs needed and even if those were all done we both felt uneasy about what else there might be in the minor things.
So that started the roller coaster of emotions and figuring out what we wanted to do. We already had a contract on our house so it was being sold and if we didn't buy this house we had no idea where to go. Not to mention that the only reason we put our house on the market was to buy this specific house. We weren't necessarily looking to move, but we found this house in our neighborhood that offered more space so we decided to try for it. We eventually decided it would be better to walk away from that house, even not knowing what the next steps would be. There are a lot more details, but we spent over a week waiting to hear if we would be allowed out of the contract while we also tried to figure out what to do next.
So we close on our house that we're selling this Friday and we started a lease on an apartment this past weekend and have started moving stuff over. There's been a lot of thoughts and emotions as we've processed it all. Feeling stupid and like we've made a huge mistake in selling our house. Feeling sad about leaving the house we've loved without somewhere "bigger and better" to go. Feeling anxiety about where to move. Feeling fear of not being able to afford to buy something else. And on and on and on.
I pretty much just cried off and on for a few days thinking about it all. I had some nights where I barely slept with all of the thoughts running through my head. I am in a better place this week, but I'm sure there will still be some sadness as we officially move out this weekend. But most of all I am so thankful for the ways God has carried us this month.
In all honesty, it took time to get to a place of being able to see His goodness in this whole thing. It felt like all the doors were open and then suddenly slammed shut and we were in our "worst case scenario" that I had worried about from the time we listed our house. And it felt like if the timing of things had worked out just a little better we wouldn't be in this situation of having to move without a house to buy. But He was faithful to remind me that His goodness doesn't change and isn't dependent on my circumstances.
I am thankful for friends who listened and kept pointing me to the truth, time to sit in prayer and read through old notes to remind me of His character, truths of worship music that I repeatedly listened to.
I'm thankful that the week it all fell apart, our family devotional song for the week was "It is Well" and we sang it over and over and Cooper would constantly sing "it is well with my soul" as we drove around and played that week.
I'm thankful that we found out about getting out of contract and getting the appraisal on our house back on the same day that the unit we wanted to rent became available again so we had peace about applying for an apartment and signing a lease.
I'm thankful for time to start a lease early and start moving our things to make the move a little less stressful.
I'm thankful for notes from a book I read last year that reminded me of God's true character despite my circumstances.
And I know I will be thankful for the way He is refining us through this, causing us to have no choice but to trust Him with everything. I know I will be able to look back and see so many more details that he took care of.
And I'm thankful for my family and that no matter what happens we've got each other.
It's been a whirlwind, but we're stepping into the unknown together, knowing we're not alone.
1 comment:
Love you friend!
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